With Love...: Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

I have had another busy week, although it did not feel busy. I went over to visit my aunt and uncle. We did some shopping. And I bought coloured pants, one pair greenm and anther purple, something I would never thought I'd buy. I really like them though, and have already got wear out of them. As well as some new cords, they are so soft and just wonderful! I also bought some tights, to wear with my many skirts and dresses and a watch, as I have been finding I am constantly searching for a clock to tell me what time it is. We went to see a movie, it was good, very funny. It was bizzare leaving the theatre as it felt like I should be walking out into Winnipeg after seeing a movie and was surprised to find it was definately not. And on the weekend, I went for a drive through London, it was really nice, neat to see all the buildings you see in movies in real life, a life very different from Winnipeg. I also found my nearest Starbucks, that was just a wonderful end to the drive.

We had another family day, with many cousins coming over for lunch. It was lovely to see them all. That's just one great thing about coming over here. I don't have much family in Winnipeg, and I only see them on holidays. Over here, I have lots of cousins that are frequently visiting. It's really nice to get to know them and spend time with them as I haven't got the chance to do that ever. I love learning about their personalities, seeings aspects of them that I see in myself and in my other family, and tend to laugh at how alike some are.

I went to see Wicked for the second time, and it was fantastic. It's truely amazing, and you are hooked on it by the first song. You get so wrapped up in the story and the characters, it made me want to be in the musical, I know that won't happen though, so sad. The singers were unbelievable, and incredibly funny. They were the kind of singers that give you shivers they're so good. I found myself frequently wanting to belt out along with Alphaba (main character), but decided it was inappropriate and I would do it in the privacy of my own home. I will have all the songs stuck in my head for a good week. It was their 5th birthday being in London, and they said a little after and had some of the old cast members come out, along with a drop of many balloons and green confetti.

Again this week, I have had lots of love and support from home and it has been so helpful. I beginning to realize that I am not alone as I thought myself to be in this big adventure, I have a large team behind me cheering me on and already proud of me. I have gotten good shoves from people, some a little harsher then others, to help me go out and experience and I continue to move each day, continuing my baby steps. There have been lots of thoughts and discussion of when I should go back to sweet home Manitoba, earlier then expected. But I don't want to give up on an oppurtunity or on myself. I keep taking each day as it comes, even those filled with anxiety of the little tasks I have to do remembering things can always get better. The little tasks include trying to find a job, which is always tough, and I don't have to many ideas of what I'd like to do. But, I am sure that I will find something to do, and hopefully something I enjoy.

I know that confidence will help me get through my time here, and I am finding that I do not hold as much as I thought. I am actually quite shy in reality, with new people or people I am not used to and not the type of person to walk up to someone and strike up a conversation. I am still quite shy and quiet around my family as it takes some time for me to come out of my shell and be as strange and loud as I can be. I think that is something I will grow in here, break out of my shell a little more. I definatley did grow throughout high school, with much help from improv, which quickly corupted me (only in postive ways) but I think I will see that I can grow more from that and become a little more comfortable for being myself and showing others around me, even when I first meet someone, just who I am.